do i stay or do i go now?

Hey Laurie!

We miss you a ton!

Thanks for writing. Man, we’ve been crazy busy. Yeah.we’re here in England getting training with kids.

I’ll be coming to denver alone next week. The kids and norma couldn’t make it. It’ll be a one week swing, then I come back to England. crazy.

We have been thinking about you a lot lately. Daniel asked about you two days ago. We are leaving for Scotland in a few minutes, so I gotta run. But we need to catch up.

What’re ya up to these days? Have any plans?

Blessings,

Chris

i recieved this email today from my team leader in bosnia. the wrenching always happens when i see his email pop up. the wrenching that screams inside of me....you know where you should be. life has changed and turned and become something different since those days...my sarajevo days. i stand at a crossroads... i am on the brink of a major promotion with my job. interviewing for a management position. my mom is remarrying. my lease is soon again to be up. and i sit here with the pounding in my heart telling me....laurie you've got something good here. dont throw away all this work. the pounding also says...remember your life? remember who you are? remember that place? why does my heart ache still so much for it? this is the truth ....without gloss. im scared. im scared of that life again. im scared ill end up back on that side of the earth and so homesick that every calling, every good motivation, every word from God is drowned. ive experienced it. ive lived it. the fear is real because it has happened. the truth is i dont know if i can do this again. the truth is i am (and have been for some time) torn. i stayed the night at my moms house last night and was awoken at 630 this morning and couldnt figure out why. i got up and made coffee and couldnt figure out why there were tears running down my face. what are these tears for....do i stay or do i go?