i spent a year of my life stumbling along

Kounellis in Sarajevo: artistic project in Vijećnica / National Library
Originally uploaded by .chourmo.

i realize sitting here today that i spent a good year of my life stumbling along. This sounds like a negative statement. its not. it was the most enlightening 365 days my heart has ever beat out.
one july afternoon i was out stumbling along the streets of sarajevo (which when left alone for too long, on my way to language class, or to the store i'd find myself always doing) when i wandered upon a grand piece of architecture i had viewed almost everyday from my apartment up the hill. the largest standing relic of the war on my side of town was this library; great and yellow and majestic. the national library stood above all of the minarets and red tile roofs for all of the old city to see. It was a hollow coffin of a building that had been fire bombed by the serbs some 10 years earlier. all of its magnificent windows had been boarded up and the bottom twenty feet of the building was all plastered with billboard advertisements for some eastern european brand shampoo or snack food or the random political banner. this hot afternoon i had taken a different route home from merkator (the cities most modern yet still very communist eighties grocery store/mall) and found myself standing in front of the regal ruins. This building has always caused great wonder for me, most of my curiosity centering around the question of "what must this place look like on the inside." Today i had just happened to glance up at the front door (looking more like a construction worker access than a grand entryway) when i noticed it was open. I decided to go in. when i got through the dusty foyer i noticed that it was some art exhibit in the octagonal shape vestibule. i paid the few marks to woman in the corner of the room and walked up to 12 foot doorways filled with books and rocks and sandbags. in the ruins of this hall of culture was an artist exclaiming "all is not dead here!". I stayed inside the library for another hour or so walking from doorway to doorway in awe at what my eyes beheld.
my stumblings have all been that to me. a suprise. a hidden wonder that seems to have been all but accidental,but a beauty held and awe-inspiring. 

post script: more of the library

an uncomfortable

today marks 7 years since a great tragedy. I am torn at times between anger at those who would use the attacks on the world trade center and the pentagon to fuel their own agenda for a "war on terror" and the desire to see justice served and a people protected against sucha an attack again. I have come to realization today  that i dont know would have happened 7 years ago. This realization is this..."the war against terror is bound up in the war against poverty". This is not a quote by Moveon.org, or Obama, or some hippie nut but a quote by General Colin Powell. Those responsible for the attacks seven years ago might have been wealthy Saudis but it was in collapsed poverty stricken Afghanistan they found success and sanctuary. Wouldn't it have been cheaper (and smarter) to make friends out of certain enemies than to defend yourself against them. I am coming to a realization that our best homeland security rests on the success of ending poverty in nations that we have all ability to do so in. The war on disease is a war on terrorism. Making AIDS, Malaria, and TB extinct in Africa will kill a fertile ground for terrorism. And it is doable. The plans are drawn up. We just arent convinced of it. This isnt on the news. This isnt in the papers. This isnt about oil or power its about valuing lives. We can be the generation of people who no longer accepts that an accident of lattitude determines whether a child lives or dies. Imagine if the money we spent on the war in Iraq  sent girls to school, began microenterprise loans, purified water, gave 20 cent innoculations, pardoned unpayable debt, taught AIDS prevention, fed villages, and taught responsible farming. Where would the terrorist camps be? Who would join them? I have come to the realization today that the destiny of the "haves" are intrinsically linked to the fates of the "have nothing at alls". we experience that seven years ago. Let us continue to learn from that today.