i spent a year of my life stumbling along

Kounellis in Sarajevo: artistic project in Vijećnica / National Library
Originally uploaded by .chourmo.

i realize sitting here today that i spent a good year of my life stumbling along. This sounds like a negative statement. its not. it was the most enlightening 365 days my heart has ever beat out.
one july afternoon i was out stumbling along the streets of sarajevo (which when left alone for too long, on my way to language class, or to the store i'd find myself always doing) when i wandered upon a grand piece of architecture i had viewed almost everyday from my apartment up the hill. the largest standing relic of the war on my side of town was this library; great and yellow and majestic. the national library stood above all of the minarets and red tile roofs for all of the old city to see. It was a hollow coffin of a building that had been fire bombed by the serbs some 10 years earlier. all of its magnificent windows had been boarded up and the bottom twenty feet of the building was all plastered with billboard advertisements for some eastern european brand shampoo or snack food or the random political banner. this hot afternoon i had taken a different route home from merkator (the cities most modern yet still very communist eighties grocery store/mall) and found myself standing in front of the regal ruins. This building has always caused great wonder for me, most of my curiosity centering around the question of "what must this place look like on the inside." Today i had just happened to glance up at the front door (looking more like a construction worker access than a grand entryway) when i noticed it was open. I decided to go in. when i got through the dusty foyer i noticed that it was some art exhibit in the octagonal shape vestibule. i paid the few marks to woman in the corner of the room and walked up to 12 foot doorways filled with books and rocks and sandbags. in the ruins of this hall of culture was an artist exclaiming "all is not dead here!". I stayed inside the library for another hour or so walking from doorway to doorway in awe at what my eyes beheld.
my stumblings have all been that to me. a suprise. a hidden wonder that seems to have been all but accidental,but a beauty held and awe-inspiring. 

post script: more of the library