the crossroads

why i am i so scared to tell them. why am i so scared to let them down. why is leaving such a hard thing for me to break to them. i know i wouldn't have had a chance to panel if they knew i was leaving in june. but mom, and julie, and the fam. its time to let everyone know. i am most afraid of becky. she has done so much to mentor me in my job. i dread sitting down and telling her that i am leaving. im afraid she will feel like i have been wasting her time and i knew it all along. i am more afraid that she will be disappointed than anyone else. it is this thing that has been chewing inside. i know i am supposed to go. the longer i wait the more of a rush i will be in to get support and just things ready. i never will feel ready for this but i wont allow my fear of the future keep me stagnant. i wish sometimes that i had more courage. Lord i pray that you will ease this.